Nothing Was Ever Right

Because I am not anymore that knight,
who used to stand alone with his might.

I thought everything was going to be alright,
but again I must find my space and insight.

That prophecy could have always been right,
but there again I saw another day in light.

And in it, my principle came to know its blight
and its bitterness, as it left me that night.

Now alone I felt what I've worn is too tight,
and I never knew a single thing about this fight.

Alighting

Rain after rain,

I could have felt more pain.

But after all, here's my last morning.

only the sun and its light, entering.

I could have told you my desire,

but then you've seen me as a liar.

Now you know, I was never wise,

as never my heart could melt any ice.

Whether you gave me rum or wine,

all I could ever do is whine.

And so I wish I could care less,

as in this evening I could guess.

I'll see you again in this tiny city,

which killed my senses, in its enigmatic entity.

And to me, it wasn't love that I would address,

it was the lesson in your honest distress.

Love and Likely

But how do I know,

how would I believe and understand.

So funny, as all these times,

all I ever cared about was you.

Remind me of the new things I find,

my memories are colliding back.

Can't say what's beautiful,

I've known just less than my eyes.

Too blind I am, and over time

with my deaf ears I can hear people say;

Keep what's precious to you,

avoid the harmful ones.

The Night

The night fascinates me,

she hugs me with her sky.

Consoles me with her stars,

kept me awake with her smoothness.

And her beauty remains in my dreams.

Sesisir Daun Senja

Kulihat ke dalam,

tiada hancur yang tak berasal.

Bintang malam,

berkeping tak berbunga dipangkal.

Kuasai dendam,

perangai tidak berampun akal.

Teratai bersulam,

tidak terlupa tetap disangkal.

Kulihat ke luar,

cahaya mentari berikal.

Lupa 'ku akan sesisir daun senja,

yang bunganya pernah kusimpan.

15mins.

The chattering sounds in fifteen minutes.

The cold air striking down my spine,

chilling as the works I have to do.

What's the point of working without love?

Go ask Gibran and he'll let you know.

I am too picky for love,

it might be my reason to not be picked.

I really do love someone.

But I just don't know about love.

And as much as I need to know,

I need to breathe and eat,

and do works in this chilly,

chilly space down the building.

Where I believed my fate was.

Night Coffee

I console my loneliness without fear,

and get troubled by trouble I would not.

Coldness of the night coffee is killing the taste,

as you can never find any knowledge without a waste.

Try to keep inside what's beautiful outside.

Three minutes of walking might be such a sight.

The sideways I walked with or without you,

have always been bright or brighter than.

Your happiness, show it off your smile.

Try to keep outside what's beautiful inside.

And when I see your smile again,

that's the only news I would retain.

Poison

We choose to see only what we see,

chase along the way what is already inside,

I care for the world but not oneself,

I remember thoughts but not the present,

no matter how good the ingredients,

what's of use when poison has been?

I choose love over love,

misunderstanding the meaning of both.

I choose life over life,

misinterpreting the one I've got.

So, be careful starting from thoughts,

as words are not as powerful as deeds.

Crumble

I never understand.

Yet I live along the way,

I'd be thankful.

Sad only when I can't continue,

and become sick of everything.

I've had enough of it,

love, most of the time.

Tap with rhythm,

trance along the rhyme.

I built my bridge,

it crumbles on and on.

Stop loving again,

I'll go heartless once more.

But who cares?

Nobody does.

Not even you,

531

Like a game, life is balanced.

Live now, and nowhen else.

Mind is like the surface of water.

The Prisoner

The evening clouds,

which I knew I could see from different places.

I believed in them, yet

these clouds were raining my days off.

I said your smile made my day, but

at the very same time I took it away from you.

While I wept in those darkest days, I knew

that inside them, my strength remains.

I am a friend of all, yet

a lover of none.

I am a knight outside, yet

a prisoner for love.

Stains

As I walked upon the stairs,

I saw these stains of pain,

these clear, unwavering sorrow.

In my dreams collided the trails.

Those ambitions and beliefs remain.

On a way be anxiety and worry.

Once again I waved to the remnants,

those I've known for so long,

then I found myself, whispering to me.

This is just a dream,

but this dream, real as it is.

It is still just a dream.

If you can't fight your own illusions,

someday they shall tell you with their eyes,

that you have also become an illusion.

Soon

Until I met a princess,

whose honest emotions radiate.

Capturing everything around her

with love and love only.

Purity in her every gaze,

coming from those eyes I know.

Strangely embracing life,

in which way I don't understand.

Her presence itself amazed me,

yet she recognized me still.

A good friend, she is.

One I would care for and miss.

Waiting II

The soundless dialogue

of three girls passing by.

I'm waiting in the terminal,

as I was in a hospital.

These hours I know alighting,

these glasses of unspeakable wonders.

I believe it has been a long time now but,

I believe tomorrow will again come.

And things will have to go,

as now I would.

Rain

Rain is falling again this morning.

And I'd sit alone here, before my own dreams.

To get what the nature is saying.

The ever changing beams.

The rain falls even harder.

And alone still, I am sitting beside it.

And even if I can't retry,

I will always try to love.

Because every morning I spend,

is already filled with rain.

And every hatred surfacing,

shatters in this vast ocean of life.

So tell me once again, if love is dying.

Because you might be the one who is.

A Simple One

As in my books I condense my thoughts.
Today is not such a simple one anymore.

I'd grab any ordinary imagination I have,
and tell the world, what they might miss.

Don't think about treasuring your ideas.
They might be better in any other head.

As being an artist runs out of its essence,
only time can ever judge the worth of one.

Stuck

Passion, encompassed within, without.

I couldn't send my love.

Faraway, still

I moved in circle.

Closed my reality,

got stuck in dreams.

I had everything,

while I kept missing you.

A Step

And August comes to mind,

be in panic or bliss.

Totally missing my days,

but playing around forever isn't my type.

So it came to another Sunday,

where churches sing and people pray.

Still I'm missing my days,

and playing around forever is what I've done.

Kiss

As the lovely gardener enjoys his last moments, he wrote:

Out of all my rarest dreams,
I think tonight's is the most desirable.

Just as once my rose have kissed me,
now again she kisses me.

More than this would be painful,
even for farewell himself.

As I'm about to rest,
have a beautiful life, my love.

And

Answer me, all the wisest ones of you.

Who loves the sun when dawn comes,
and the moon, when night arrives.

The warmth of spring,
and the autumn breeze.

As I've been asked twice already;

If only love can fix the broken hearts,
why would love forever be accused for breaking them?

Today

So what was wrong to begin with?
We've never had the chance to win from the start.

Have we?

If tomorrow lead me to destruction,
then shall it be destruction I welcome.

I'd rather not think about what's yet to come.

And if yesterday was painful as always,
I'll let today cheer me up, once again.

Where I meet the sun, shining,
and the clouds, dancing.

See You

And I greeted gently these grasses.
I always hoped they'd remember me.

The stairwells I once walk within.
The high ceilings I know.

Tomorrow I'd miss this place,
As today I've missed it.

So long, companions.
Tread lightly along the way.

May you travel safe.
And let us meet again, someday.

Insight

Don't ask where I should go.
I don't even know where to stand.

Nobody doubts what I can do,
but that's after I've excluded myself.

What can I do?
Death smiles to me, so does life,
though it's just a misunderstanding.

If I could find a reason,
why should I ever stop?
And while I've lost my only reason,
how would I bother to continue?

I've lost all my insight,
And now I'm blind inside.

I used to see through all kinds of people,
but that's the past I've forgotten.

I can't even see through myself now,
as if I'm seeing a sight with my eyes closed.

I've forgotten how to open my eyes,
I'm tired to even think about it.

I know that someday, I'll leave this darkness.
Whilst, I'll rest here for now.

Just to regain my insight.

October 22nd, 2009

Compass

I don't quite understand,
why is it that rain falls so quickly?

Earth calls me around noon,
as her tears stood in place.

Quickly step on your stairs,
frail or not your toes may be.

Sinking my glass in wine,
totally forget what night reveals.

Hated your sadness,
but can't do anything to love you.

All that I have left inside,
is nothing but this compass of passion.

If Not

When the light greet me,
I'd remember you and smile.

For every song I love to sing,
for every prayer that fades away.

I'll talk with the wind about you,
and get him to send all my love.

Just that I care about you,
and not to forget myself.

I can't stop chasing my dreams,
and so shouldn't you.

Then treat everyone with love,
if not affection.

Usual

I thought I took the right path,
in one of every love I'd see.

And you left me here standing still,
crying out of my own enigma.

As I would keep trying,
I knew you don't need me.

Still, everyday I live just for you.
Hoping that no wasn't the same as never.

As you'd always look somewhere else.
Can't you look where I am now?

Maybe the pain within me
could get better at the least.

And probably I'll miss you again,
like every other love I'd get.

Now and then if you're happy still,
I guess I'm not the one to interfere.

The world's still together with me,
and the rest as usual.

Cheerful

The morning dew remembers me,
to a secret the sun whispered me.

When her light cheered me up,
nothing could ever make me sad.

Some wonderful things I know,
I couldn't share them to you,

since you're so far beyond my reach.
Yet I hope the wind could travel me there,

and I'll tell the world to embrace you,
cause I'm starting to miss your smile.

Journey

Don't care what's extraordinary,
don't care what is right.

They're talking like they have known everything,
They're knowing what they talk about, not?

What's my point of talking,
if what I'd like to hear is only agreement?

What's my point of hearing,
if what I'd do next is just to counter aimlessly?

I've traveled with my brother,
around every thoughts you've known,

and most of the possibilities in everyone,
or probably every way of thinking.

Speak to me of your thoughts,
and I'll tell you some about the journey I had.

Sometimes

I'd miss many things,
but my thoughts would cheer me up once more.

It was clearly fair to love life,
or befriend with hate sometimes.

The more I spend my days with you,
the less could I dream and lie.

For it is painful to wait,
as to know the time,

never run from your fate,
but charge onward with all your might.

Instead

I wonder what the world is up to.
What aim should we take?

What promise would it fulfill?
A pile of problems is just another day for me.

Of course the fact that everything you see
which is real just to yourself alone

can never be taken as a resistance
against everyone's step of recollection.

Now tell me, isn't it fair to be sinful,
if every other sins can only be forgiven?

Don't even wish that I'd expect your answers,
cause I've known how they would be so useless.

If any romance could only betray me,
I'll serve beauty and be heartless instead.

Schedule

Do you know the schedule for tomorrow?
I never knew.

I'll never know.
So let seconds pass slowly,

Get the clock working.
Let the earth spins.

Love insists to stay with time.
So sorry I can't do the same.

Then, good day,
and good bye.

Unwritten

Have you ever been told of love, unspoken?
I'm quite sure it is easier to understand things, undefined.

To hear things, unvoiced.
To see things, unimagined.

To live each unknown day.
To enjoy unpredictable experiences.

And it's easier to face what is yet unexpected
than what you are having in mind.

That's why, learn how to be forgetful.
And know exactly what to forget.

Space

Even when the sun goes higher than this,
never shall my shadow leave me alone.

And rain pours down the milky way,
leaving the clouds with a star nearby.

Leaves have fallen into her heart,
as if nothing was there to comfort her.

If I were to meet someone somewhere,
it wouldn't be so nice to encounter sadness.

So leave this place for a moment,
listen to the whispering winds.

Come with me to the silvery space,
and get back with a smile on your face.

Selfish

If it seems so hard to let things be,
you should just not let them be.

We're just holding back too much,
losing our selves and such.

Meeting problems unsolved,
we'd rather have ourselves deceived

by our own false selves,
while the fact never revolves.

Could you get it over,
then you should also remember;

What you do for the outside,
comes from nowhere but the inside.

The Classroom

The bright lights,
the windows I have known for so long.

And this loneliness of waiting.
How could it be so lingering?

I wonder if words could tell me the truth,
I wonder if waiting could give me more time.

If loneliness is all that you can feel,
would it be so painful anymore to wait?

Caught in a deep reflection,
my soul have waited for eternity.

Waiting for something it has already forgotten.

So listen,
as the world never gives you another chance.

Rhythm

The spider web on the wall swings,
as though they're following the rhythm

of the clock nearby.

Sad but true, we're all waiting,
while dancing with the universe,

for a certain death.

Of course everyone would be sad,
of course they would cry

to just endure their pain.

For what is the world planned,
whether sorrow or joy,

in unison.

The world you step on,
the life you go,

may we get hurt.

For a while,
whether I refuse or accept you,

be with me.

Couldn't we pray?
Could we not pray?

Can't we just shut up?

No, we never would be able to...

Waiting

The soundless dialogue
of two girls passing by.

I am waiting in the hospital,
as I was in a terminal.

If orders could be equal to
the absence of prevention,

then whose fault is it,
to let one break others' hearts?

Should never consider myself right,
should never consider myself wrong.

What a shameless discovery.

Kill

But what is it like to kill your dreams?
Everything was magnificent.

Is it true if it is false?
Many tried, some failed.

Few got out, none lived.
Everything is possible,

but destroying possibilities,
will henceforth call a divine punishment.

Will Heaven accept those who don't even live,
as Hell would not try to refuse them?

Less could you say,
more could you hear.

Coffee

If any emotion should be precise,
I'd rather live forever without them.

All of us are interpreting things as they are.
Such emotions my consciousness recalls.

Too many misinterpretations, are there not?
Never wished for anything but bitterness in cups of coffee.

What a mistake, that coffee would be just for me.
How everyone else would get different ideas of their cups of coffee?

One teaspoon of sugar, more or less.
Another shot of caffeine, why not?

And probably some portions of milk.
Be aware of it.

Cause our interpretations are the same as our ideal cups of coffee.
Are they the same for you and me?

Are yours the same as mine?

By the way, serve it sugarless,
and let me get the milk by myself.